Encouraging Winks

When you least expect it, life sends you encouragement in the most unique places.  
Notice, listen, and celebrate those small moments.


A watched pot never boils, nor does a watched phone ring.

Since Sarah's country is seven hours ahead, our submission emails and our future travel date emails would appear in the early morning hours.  By noon, if we had not received any word, we'd need to wait until the following morning.  Monday and Tuesday am, I was checking my phone for messages at every available break I had.  Like counting down the days until Christmas morn.  No ring nor message came.  I wasn't discouraged, but filled with anticipation, waiting to kick my game up to the next level as we prepare to leave.

As I went about teaching, I wanted to try a website we had been given access to use in our district.  When I entered my initials and last name, another teacher in Oklahoma came up, with the same initials:   

SARAH ARCHER

How about that little God Wink for encouragement!  Our travel date is coming, soon. 
For now, patiently we wait. 

If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches of the same tree.  W.B. Yeats

Sarah first, then Ds

     Throughout my learning journey over the past few months, I've read and processed so much information on adoption, Down syndrome, and Special Needs children.  I continue to learn daily from those who have walked this path before me and look to them for guidance, advice, and a listening ear when I need it.  For our family and friends who have little experience with a child with special needs, I want to share with you some insights I've learned on this journey.

    Sarah is a little girl with chestnut hair and chocolate eyes.  She has Down syndrome, and most likely was placed in an orphanage in Eastern Europe because of her diagnosis.  In her country, there are no therapies, there are no schools for children with special needs, there is no life.  Parents are given their child's diagnosis at birth and the recommendation to place them in an orphanage.  At 4 or 5, these children are moved to mental institutions, where life expectancy after transfer is 2 years.   They do not see potential in children with Down syndrome.

  Down syndrome is not Sarah, nor is Sarah, Down syndrome.  She is not a Downs baby, nor has Downs.  (It does not have an s on it.  It was named after Dr. Down, who discovered Ds, not someone who had it.)  She is Sarah with Down syndrome.  By saying Sarah with Down syndrome, it shows respect to Sarah and that you see Sarah for Sarah, and not  Down syndrome.  Until Sarah was born in our hearts, I was not aware that my words mattered.  It may seem like semantics, but Sarah and other individuals with Ds (Down syndrome) need to be seen for who they are, and not the Down syndrome piece first.  Sarah is beautiful, Sarah is lovely, Sarah is a life to be cherished, and Ds is a part of her beautiful puzzle.   Her potential is bursting to get out, to be given opportunities, to have a life outside the plain walls.   Sarah is a life worth saving, a life worth living, and a life worth the love of her forever family.  So, when talking about children with Down syndrome, remember their name first, then  Down syndrome.

A MASTER Plan

The elementary where I teach sends home with students their class placement  on the last day of school.  Teachers receive their list for the upcoming year, but I always stick it in a drawer until I come back from summer break.  This year was no different.  In August, we had a Meet The Teacher time before school started.  For 2 hours, my students and their parents walked through my doors, looked at their room, and introduced themselves to me.  It was a quick meeting, and I tried very diligently to put names and faces together.  I did remember a family that had a strong accent when I spoke to them.

    During the first few weeks of school, I work to build a compassionate, caring learning community.  We spend time sharing, celebrating, and talking about our lives.  One day, we were sharing something unique when a boy, D, shared that his parents were from a country in Eastern Europe.  Of course, I was so excited and I began asking D questions.  Come to find out he can speak the same language as our Sarah's country!!!!  I could hardly believe it!!  D is now in charge of teaching a Word of the Day during our morning and closing meetings!!  How about that!!  I have my own language tutor from a fourth grader.   
Life is GREAT!!!

  Before I saw what I saw the last day of school, before I read the family blogs, before I thought about adoption and Down Syndrome, and before I was even shown this is the journey to go on, a young boy was placed in my classroom who speaks the same language as our little Sarah's country and would be able to teach me and my class conversational language from Eastern Europe.  I shared with a friend my story the other day, and she said, "Shelly, you found out the WHY things have happened sooner than some.  Count yourself blessed."  
I do and I am.

    I have grown so much in the journey thus far.  I'm learning to laugh about inconveniences and happenings. (Such as:  the dishwasher breaking a day before our first social worker visit and our kitchen is torn apart:(  I'm learning to do what I can and leave some things for another day. (I'll never be caught up at school!!)  I'm taking time to celebrate the small things. (My son loving his new cooking class /Cub Scouts activities and my daughter teaching her brother math games at home.)  I'm learning to take deep breaths and walk away when someone says something insensitive about adoption and Down Syndrome. (It's only happened once, but it left me speechless.)  Mostly, I'm seeing the world in a new light.  In a few short months, Sarah will be seeing everything for the first time and I'm looking at the world around me with a sense of awe and wonder. 

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”