Memories

 I have this vivid imagination of planning picturesque moments on holidays.  Outfits are coordinated, hair is perfected with the perfect adornment, matching the outfit.  Currier and Ives is the epitome of the photo I want to enlarge and bestow upon our hallway for all who enter.  This Easter, a nautical look was the theme.  Navy blue and white, and Sarah would be wearing a dress Addy wore when she was little.

 Imagine my displeasure when this was all I could achieve before we had to leave for church.  Easter baskets had exploded in the front room.  Sarah was signing the word candy as chocolate drool spewed out of her mouth and her feet were bare.  And so my photo didn't happen and I snapped this in the car!

Before I left Sarah in the most blessed hands of our Miss Patty, I left these instructions with her. "If you paint(which Patty is always up for some artsy activity for her kids), place a garbage bag around her.  I'm getting a family photo after church or nobody eats lunch!"  And Miss Patty and all her helpers made certain not a stain or offending mark was on my Sarah when I picked her up.  My Easter was complete and I have my beautiful family pictures.

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An Easter and birthday celebration was on the agenda, complete with more Easter baskets from the grandparents.

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The Bunny
Sarah and I share a special time together after her bath.  We sing and play games.  She sits on a stool across from me, intently watching my mouth and motions as I sign to see how to move her mouth.  I taught her Jesus Loves Me in sign language, and she has sung it for her grandparents.  The bunny was special, and her eyes lit up as she recognized the song it played.  For the next half hour, she played that over and over, dancing, signing, and showing everyone of her new found treasure. 

The bunny, doll, and a Grandma CD:  all treasures that show she is loved lay beside her bed and the music lulls my little to sleep.  Her Grandmas have a special place in her heart.

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Easter isn't complete without an Easter Egg hunt.  Aunt Stephanie and Grandma Linda stuffed eggs for the celebration.  The kids enjoyed hunting for treasure, counting the eggs and the adults watched with cameras snapping to capture the memory.

Reminiscing
Dates are not easy for me to remember.  I think about the times, the seasons, the happenings, but not always dates.  I was caught off guard when my father-in-law said it was a year today that you left for Sarah.  I knew it was around Easter, but the dates for Easter change.

Another Grandma at the party, with her own amazing journey this year, asked if we would celebrate Gotcha Day.  At that moment, the sights, sounds, emotions all began coming back in a flood, not trickling.  Gotcha Day...

My eyes began to well up with tears, and it hit me hard.  
I don't have the memories of Gotcha Day, the once in a lifetime photos and video of walking her out of the orphanage door, the gates closing one last time.  A few days before Mother's Day, we learned that our dates were to be postponed, yet again.  Our children at home were struggling, and we made the gut-wrenching decision for me to leave after court.  Andy would finish the process and take her out of the orphanage.

That entire week, every visit with Sarah, I was an emotional wreck.  I'd begin tearing up, coloring with her.  I broke down reading Five Little Monkeys to her, and complete sobs erupted when I tried to make it through Brown Bear.  Holding her, caressing her cheek as I lay kiss after kiss on her, an emotional free fall.  Sunglasses were my favorite accessory to hide my tear-stained cheeks.  The last moments with her before I left, praying she wouldn't forget who I was and I made Andy promise he would do her hair and take all the pictures and video he could.

I had envisioned the day in my mind.  The outfit, her hair bows, shoes.  We'd walk a little, I'd carry her out, and every moment would be captured.  Our plans do not always add up to reality.

Skyping with my father that week, sobbing miles away, his words will be forever etched in my mind and heart.
"Shelly, perhaps this isn't to be your moment.  God wants this to be Andy's moment to have and you are not to be part of that plan."  As difficult as it is to understand why, I will never understand, nor is it my place to question a master plan.   Even now as I type, the tears are streaming because I will never have her Gotcha Day.  I do have a wonderful video Andy made and posted the day I returned to bring her home...The Sound of the Gate.

When I was sharing this story with the women around the table at Easter, and their eyes were filling, I said, "We will celebrate her coming home.  Memorial Day weekend is the day our family was united, together.  We will celebrate her homecoming then.  That will be our Gotcha Day, her moment.  I have had many beautiful, heart-warming celebrations with her and will continue to have every minute."

 

Embracing our journey, daily.

 

Happy Easter

Our two countries are celebrating He Is Risen, Indeed on this morning.  In our country, Addy and Austin are dressing in their Sunday best.  Addy's wearing her white sandals, as Easter is the beginning season of white shoes:)  They'll go to church, and the message will center on the Salvation, Resurrection, and Redemption story.   Our Contemporary Worship Band will be singing, Thank You For The Cross, which brings chills every time I play it.  Then, our family will gather for a meal, eating chocolate and the marshmallow peeps, that are only good if left out to harden into a crisp, gooey dessert.

 Sarah's country recognizes Easter, in similar ways.  We've seen luscious chocolates, stuffed animals and trinkets, and decorative Psyanky eggs.

  There are unique and beautiful traditions, as well.

Willow Sunday

 Sarah's orphanage is on the same street as a monastery and church.  Last Sunday, the street was blocked and so we walked, fascinated  by the sights.  People were making their way to church or coming from church, carrying Pussy Willow branches.   On both sides of the street, up and down, tables were selling these branches.  We were in awe, feeling the significance of the moment.  Walking up the street carrying the willow branches, resembling Jesus' path into the city on his last week.   I was humbled and needed to know more about this tradition.

Palms were difficult to come by, so the church began using willow branches.  On Palm, also known as, Willow Sunday,  willow branches are tapped on one another, repeating a blessing. " 'Be as tall as the willow, as healthy as the  water, and as rich as the earth."  These branches are placed on vases on restaurant tables, also.

Paska Bread

Friday afternoon waiting on our cab, many were carrying what looked to be giant cupcakes.  At the grocery, they were all shapes and sizes and we bought one.  It's tradition to have one at Easter to welcome springtime, and to carry these in baskets to church.  While there, a candle is placed in bread and a blessing is said.  The bread tasted sweet, with raisins, and icing on top.

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Today, our family will also celebrate the redemption of four little girls.  

Alina, Zoya, Sofia, and Nadia; 

their stories brought us to the beginning of adoption.

Their families traveled the ocean last year to give redemption to their daughters.  These girls were given a new life, a family, and everlasting love.  A special place will remain forever in our hearts for these cherubs.

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Remember Carrington?

The little girl who was brought to the U.S and immediately placed in the hospital because of her malnourishment?  A little girl who brought doctors and nurses to their knees in tears.  She was released this weekend, and was able to join her family for the first time.  

 All the family is together under one roof. 

A salvation story like no other.

How Great is our God!

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Our celebration of Easter will take place on the orphanage playground.  Basking in the laughter and smiles of another little girl, who will soon have her own salvation story to share.

The secret to redemption lies in the remembering. 

Richard von Weizsaecker

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Happy Easter, Addy and Austin.  We miss you very much.  Love and Hugs to you, and waiting until we are a family of five together!